Category: relationship

I missed home.

I missed my mum.

I missed my siblings.

I missed my mum’s cooking.

I missed climbing to my mum’s bed and cling to her like a baby.

I missed giggling with my nephews and nieces.

I missed our dances.

I missed my car.

I missed my room.

Til next time. Au revoir.

When we were teens, life was simple. Parents are always there when we need them and family and friends are the usually cast of characters of our youth. We started to develop crushes and infatuations and as we grew, it all turn up to become relationships.

In relationships, young as we are, we tend to open our hearts completely. And girls would wait for that one day, someone would popped the question in a very romantic scene and with tears in the woman’s eyes, she would respond ‘Yes’…

Men will look forward to taking the girl of his dream to that union where he is willing to give up all of this freedom for the woman that he loves.

It seems to be a fairy tale, and yes it can happen… And life is all about reality… With different pressures in life, culture, and society, people changes heart. And the tears of happiness can be tears of pains.

That’s when a person starts to guard his or her feelings. Fear will start to rule the heart. The question of when a person is willing to let go again of his or herself is a matter of indefinite. Until the wounds are completely healed.

Trust can easily be given but within a matter of seconds, it can leave and erases the once good memory of friendship.

People come and people do leave. Some come back and some will never look back.

When people come into our lives, they come in different packages as they are all gifts. But when they leave, they all leave the same – that is, sadness. However, regardless of exits, we should be thankful that they came as they have given us happiness during their stay. That is their footprint.

We can control ourselves but we can’t control what’s beyond us. We commit mistakes by hiding ourselves due to fear of loss.

Some of us are lucky to be given chances but some are not and without a choice, close the door with sadness.

Here’s a promise to Dylan. Due to time constraints, this song lacked the melody.

The Sea

Life is sailing
Everybody’s searching freedom
Like a warm breeze each morning
Realizing everything’s the same

Heart is the shell guarded by dolphins
Cruel creatures of ocean
Course to iceberg
Wind is unstable

Slowly like the flow of freedom
Swayed by the winds
Embracing the waves
Destinations.. it’s the destination.

The sea is the view
Enjoying the view
Loving embracing the blues
Enjoying the view

Heart is the shell guarded by dolphins
Cruel creatures of ocean
Course to iceberg
Wind is unstable

Slowly like the flow of freedom
Swayed by the winds
Embracing the waves
Destinations.. it’s the destination.

Its friendship. Its you.

Til next time. Au revoir.

Liebe Gambit,

We met in the virtual world where the rule is to be casual. Millions of people used the online world for lots of reason including the compartmentalization of everyday manusia of living.

People hide their feelings and their real self and online is the safest way to do it.

But you’re different. And things happened for reasons.

We’re both overcoming the hurt and betrayal of the past relationships we had. We shared the feelings of being hurt and the pains we’ve undergone. We both wonder why sadness and pains exist?

This is reality. And oftentimes it bites.

We both believe we are part of the majestic plan. And tomorrow will always be unknown. But for now, we enjoy ourselves with the company and the thought that someone is there, a friend, that is always there for us is a precious gift.

We’re hurting but we both know we will recover like most of the people who have undergone the feeling of separation.

Time heals all wounds.

Tomorrow will always be different. And this too, shall pass.

With thoughts and ponders,

Rogue

P.S. This song is for you Gambit.

Til next time. Au revoir.

We’ve all been there before… That unforgettable moment and discussion which usually starts with the magic word…

Baby, I think we need to talk…

And that’s when you get to be stunned… palpitations follow… and then the trembling of the knees…

Regardless of whether you’re at work or just plain sleeping.. you can predict what’s to come when the magic words are popped out from Pandora’s box.

That scene is familiar?

Of course it is… its when we got dumped and there’s no way to undo the scene (though time travels if it is even real would be really helpful to alleviate the excruciating pain).

Why does a relationship breaks?

You keep on reminiscing the past and your shortcomings. You wished that the last argument that you had you didn’t say anything to hurt the other party’s ego. And then you start to beg to reconsider of getting another chance with the relationship.

When the other party says no.. You realized how valueless you are… The reality of being alone will start to sink in… That’s when you start to:

1. You start to become a Whatsapp terrorist by sending thousands of messages to your ex.

2. Some would start the drunk dialing (Man, this can be pathetic move but it does happen).

3. Some would do the drunk home visits (This is more pathetic than Item 2 but this can be reality).

4. Some would pose some threat such as suicide, suicide attempts, self inflict cuts, etc.

5. Some will stay in the hospital for few days due to heart failure. Some people can’t handle emotional tensions which can lead to a farewell in life.

Now this is the time when family and friends will come to rescue you in order to overcome the breakup. But no matter how you wallow, there is always the ponder and going back to the old memory lane.

Why did break up happen in the first place?

Surely somewhere, somehow, things have deviated from its happy beginning. Expectations haven’t met. Priorities clash. Until the world collides. Everything is just numb.

Well, realizing it, break up never happened over night. There’s that deep reason behind the cover up arguments. Most of the time, the reason that were given during the break up moment is the sugar coated explanations to make the break up… well valid…

If you got dumped… Well sad to say, you were the one who lost yourself in the relationship. You invested so much in the relationship that you lost your identity and self worth. You deviated from the inner you. It sounded not fair but I guess the reality is that it is true.

You shed tears and red wine became your ally. Consider yourself lucky when your best friend is there for you and listen to your crying and whining for hours! Because the reality is, the other party will never come back.

Looking on the bright side, break ups is the opportunity for you to rethink. What could you have done in the process? Why did the sweaty palms and the sudden heart sink just died in the process?

Once you figure out your short comings and the mistakes that you did that’s when you learned your lessons. That’s the beauty of break ups. It is painful but it is the learning process that’s worthwhile.

Because the thing is, when the tears run dry. You’re ready to smile. You learned your lessons. And now you’re willing to embrace again. And that’s when a worth while person will come along. (wink).

Related Post: Of Breakups. Cholesterol. And Economy.

Til next time. Au revoir.

Chill start and it was good

Slowly unfolding each individuality

Heavy schedule yet thoughts present

Didn’t hinder communications

As what does matter is the gestures

And the ponders inevitable.

With u means a lot,

With u is smile & soothing,

With u is warmth,

With u is comfort,

With u is life,

With u is home.

~ The Kid

Til next time. Au revoir.

In generic terms, Angels are messengers of God. They are usually found in the Hebrew and Christian bibles. In Quran, the term Malakh gives the similar context while in Hinduism Angels are coined as Deva.

Angels are also referred to metaphors, a representation of people who appeared to helped others, an instrument of God to rescue people in times of needs.

Angels are people… whom you know… or moreover strangers who does not know you and yet offered their hands during your trouble times.

I was very busy with work today, a typical Monday at the office where everyone is scrambling to their weekly activities and schedules. Meetings, reports, and reviews are but the usual Monday blues (“Monday blues” and the context here is borrowed from a very good person in my life – wink).

I completely forgot about the time only to realized that it was past 9PM and I’m still at the office. When I was packing my things I decided to go to the ladies room. Usually my access card is inside its leather holder to ensure that I won’t misplaced my card inside my bag. And so I went to the ladies room. It’s only when I’m returning back to office that I realized I don’t have access card in its leather holder. I have the leather holder but the access card is not in it. When I looked outside the office door, the reality sunk in. It is then I realized I was the last person in the office. In short, I was standing outside the office door without anything with me. My handbag, mobile phones, wallet, everything is inside the office. I couldn’t call as I don’t have my mobile… I couldn’t get a cab and ride a bus as I don’t have my wallet with me.

Without thinking I went down to go to the security desk and check if I can use their desk phone so I can call and seek help.

Two challenges faced me:

1. I don’t recall any numbers except for a vague memory of my boss mobile number
2. The security desk phone can’t call mobile number and the security guard is fairly new at his post and his mate was on roving time. He also doesn’t have mobile phone with him.

While talking to the security desk we noticed a young woman who was sitting outside and was probably waiting for her ride. The security ask me to talk to the lady and seek help on my situation.

I told myself “Seeking help to a complete stranger… this is my first time. Courage, courage, and God please help!”

While I was approaching the young lady, an On-call taxi came. It was her ride, I was already loosing hope when the security came out and have asked the young woman by himself. They were speaking Mandarin so I wouldn’t able to understand. However, the young woman needed to go and my mind left blank.

I was again discussing with the security for possible options when suddenly the young woman came back to us. The taxi driver agreed to wait for her. She allowed me to borrow her mobile phone so I can call my boss. Vaguely, I dialed a number (I was anxious and hoping that I dialed the correct number of my boss) and I was stunned that I’m hearing my boss’ voice on the other end. Gladly my boss picked up the call and I was able to explain the trouble that I was in.

Thank God!

I asked for the numbers of my colleagues who are living nearby our office. Unfortunately, my colleagues were not able to picked up my calls. I was left with no choice but to go to my boss’ place to borrow his access card. The only problem is, I didn’t have any money for cab fare.

Again without realizing it, I again asked the young woman if I can share her cab. She gladly agreed. I asked her if I can drop her to her place and with the same taxi I’m going to my boss place. I picked up the tab of taxi fare – it is the least I can do for all the help that she offered me. While in the cab we were chatting and talking like we knew each other for sometime. She was an auditor and she’s not working in the building. She’s auditing one of the companies in the building just for the week. As we were chatting, we didn’t realized were near her place.

I gave her the biggest thanks…

After the young woman alight from the cab, I shared to the taxi driver the things that have happened. The taxi driver couldn’t believe it. He thought me and young lady knew each other pretty well. When I reached my boss’ place, my boss together with his lovely daughters were there to hand me the access card. My boss was gracious enough to lend me SGD 60 in case anything happens. I couldn’t be thankful enough for all that has happened.

The taxi driver gladly waited for me and took me back again to the office. The security was there and was also smiling; he knew I somehow managed to get things resolved. I thanked the security and rushed to office to pick up my things and head home. I realized I didn’t have proper dinner yet and it was already 10:45PM.

After picking up my things and taking the same taxi I managed to get home. The taxi driver was gracious enough to recommend me a place to get my dinner – it was in the marketplace within my neighborhood.

Finally I reached home at 11PM. With a big smile in my face and a very thankful heart and a warm noodles I bought from the marketplace following the recommendation of the taxi driver.

I wouldn’t forget today as I had the privileged to witness strangers and people – the ANGELS – willing to help you in times when you’re in deep.. shit… (“,)

Angel # 1: The security desk who willingly helped me and even talked to the young woman to help.

Angel # 2: The beautiful young woman who lend me her mobile phone and shared her cab with me.

Angel # 3: My boss for picking up my call and lending me his access card. His daughters were cute and lovable.

Angle # 4: The taxi driver who has been there to drove to different destinations. He was a careful driver and a patient one.

Above all, I owe God the gratitude for giving me these wonderful people just when I need them the most.

It all happened in Singapore. The cab fare may have costed me approximately SGD 50 but the entire experience is priceless…

Portrait of an Angel. Taken at Cologne, Germany. July 2009.

Til next time. Au revoir.

Reference:

Angel, Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angel