culture, health, life, psychology, relationship

Sexaholics – Are You One Of Them?

Some of us has already come across the word “Sexaholic or Sexaholics”, a term that correlates to sexual fixation. A fix to addiction via sexual activities.

Like any other addiction, a sexaholic behaves the same; when the urge starts to kick in, the sexual fix needs to be satisfied.

Though the sexaholic statistics still remains a mystery, most of the known sexaholics are from the male gender. Yes. Men. I believe it boils down on how the male species are genetically wired and how men and women are being perceived by the society. Famous names who were rumored to be under the treatment of sex addictions were: Tiger Woods, David Duchovny, Michael Douglas, Charlie Sheen, among others.

How can a person become a sexaholic? 

The difference between sex addiction and the other variations of addictions (drugs and alcohols) is the method of acquisition. Drug and alcohol addiction would involve a certain threshold and a dependency to an object. It all starts with small amounts of drugs (cough syrup, heroin, etc) until the tolerance increases and addiction kicks in.

Sexual addiction on the other hand does not involve tolerance and no dependency either. Sexual desires emanates from the brain. A desire can lead to a strong sexual fantasy and the search for sexual partners kicks in. Sexual partners can be anyone, it can even lead to paying dominatrices. There is no object dependencies in this manner; for sexual addiction, it is all in the a person’s mind.

In this sense, there is a fine line between sexual addiction and the regular sexual desires. Sexual desires become sexaholism will all depend on the reasons why sexual activities satisfy the cravings or the fix. For a sexaholic, when the sexual cravings are satisfied, he/she becomes a better person, accepted, everything becomes a better world. The same cravings will happen again and the same satisfaction is justified.

Most common cause of sexaholism is depression, a struggle within a person’s internal self when a person feels rejection. Like any other addiction, the basic need of approval and acceptance is still the core of a sexaholic’s wants, needs, and desires.

Sexaholism is all about the person and the society. Unfortunately, there are norms, culture, and tradition that is being shaped by society and the judgement to sexaholics can become a downside to a sexaholic’s acceptance of the problem and the acceptance to undergo therapy or medication.

How can you tell if you’re a sexual addict?

There are various societal groups that are willing to help for sexaholics recovery. An alternative and probably the best way is to speak to a psychologist or your shrink.

Online quizzes are also available in order for a person to recognize if there’s a hint of sexual addiction:

Everyone deserves second chances. Recovering from sexaholism is more challenging as it requires a mind and self control. However, it still begins with acceptance of the problem and moving on to recovery with a healthy and happy support system.

While most of us lives in accordance and acceptance by society, we must understand, accept and support those loved ones whom undergone a cop-out, or even a Freudian cop-out.

Til next time. Au revoir.


– Various citations. Please contact the author.

health, life, psychology

Dance Like Nobody’s Watching

We can’t manage the outside world if we don’t manage our inside self.

~ Chic Pencil

Dance has always been a part of human society. It’s a form of expression, a communication, aesthetics, and an art. To some, it is a form and part of religion, a ritual, and a healing process. The movement of the body in tune to the rhythm of the song constitutes the graceful effect of the dancer conveying the message of the performance.

Dancing as an expression has been portrayed since the earliest human civilizations. Archeologists already found traces of dance since the prehistoric times such as the 9000 year old Rock Shelters of Bhimbetka paintings of India and Egyptian tomb showing dancing figures from 3300 BC.

Different continents and countries have different dance movements, they are called their own ethnic or traditional dance. All dance movement portrays a story, a message that needs to be conveyed to the audience or the receiver.

Widely known as it is, dance is an art.

However, dance or dancing can also be a therapy, an outlet of an individual.

All of us suffered from stress and pressures which can be from work and even family. And as such, all of us need an outlet to regain focus and energy from what has been drained from mundane work and responsibilities.

Dance releases endorphins, the mood enhancer, which gives an individual the natural euphoria and good feeling after the physical movement of more than 20 minutes.

Nancy Cassman, a dance/movement therapist from Boulder Colorado believes that when you start moving your body you’ll start moving the energy in your life too. In dance movement therapy, especially the sensual, rhythmic response aroused by dance and music is used as a way of bypassing the conscious mind and making contact with the inner emotional world. Through dance, hidden emotions can be expressed in a nonverbal way and accepted by the conscious self.

Since I was a child one of my passions is dancing. After our afternoon siesta my dad would usually asked us to dance or to sing. I prefer dancing and I love dancing with my dad in the tune of salsa and cha-cha with the old Spanish tunes. Needless to say, dancing is but a part of Spanish culture.

I stopped dancing when I suffered from hypothyroidism last 2001. Such condition made me succumb to weight gain and water retention that I reached 100+ kilograms, twice the value from my original weight. Though my height is 163cm, having such weight made my body structure suffer from health problems not to mention the low morale and inferiority complex that I’ve been through.

After years of medication, I became free from my hypothyroidism. My doctor decided to put me in weight management program in early 2010. After one year of weight management, I reduced my weight to 65 – 67kgs. It’s very challenging but one’s motivation and faith is always the key to achieving results.

As part of my weight management, I went back to dancing and using it as part of therapy. Dancing not only as one of my passions but it also become my outlet, a stress reliever from the outside pressures.

Here’s an excerpt from Step Up Movie. The dance finale, a fusion of ballet and hip hop.

Here’s the ancient and ever popular belly dancing. My favorite of all dance routine.

We cannot escape the pressures and stress of the outside world. If we don’t take care of our internal self, no else will do it on our behalf.

So let’s dance.. like nobody’s watching… It always feels good.

After my belly dancing workout. 🙂


Here’s one wish that I will dance  as what Shakira (my fave artist) did in this video. 🙂


Til next time. Au revoir.



  1. Wikipedia Online – Dance
  2. Laurel Kallenbach, Dance For Your Health,