Finding ‘The One’ wasn’t a smooth sailing journey.
It took a while before we found each other.
I wrote about him last April 2012. It was my last post and went silence in my blog.
A lot of things had happened. We got engaged.
We decided to tie-the-knot on September 1, 2012.
Yes, the very day of my birthday and so does my dad who passed away 19 years ago.
Wedding Day…My mother’s kiss on my wedding day…
Now, I’m married to my hubby Gnex Ganesan and will be celebrating our first Christmas few days from now.
From hotel to our church…Wedding ceremony…Wedding ceremony…
God does has His way of making us meet. We meet in an unexpected place. While I wasn’t searching, I didn’t close any doors in finding that someone.. that someone I’m going to spend the rest of my life with…
And so he came… All the while searching for me… And he didn’t even knew it, until we met and became exclusive.
My husband.. Gnex Ganesan…
Our officiating pastor.. Reverend Simon Ang..
Oftentimes we busy ourselves as an escape of the fear to be with someone. After all the pains, the issues of trust, we decided to just be with ourselves and give up in finding ‘the one’.
Love…
But what if… what if… God is giving you ‘the one’… but you were looking somewhere else… or you were too busy you didn’t realise?
Reflections…Us…
I hope you will find that someone for you… Someone who will be with you when you wake each morning.. Someone you will argue with the TV remote control… Someone you will kiss when your glad.. Someone who you will make up and make out with after arguments… That someone who will hold your hand until your hair turns grey, the teeth will loose, the blurry sight.. and until you close your eyes and joint your Creator…
My niece and my mother on our wedding day…Our wedding guest speaker… Reverend Sam Kuna…We held our wedding in Teen Challenge Singapore…My mum-in-law.. Ma Maliga..Mother and daughter..Our witnesses…Our family.. our friends.. our pride..Our cake and cupcakes.. by Sweettooth cake delights..
Time to say goodbye.. Goodbye to singlehood.. Goodbye to the endless and tiring search..
And it’s welcome… to the married life.. to companionship.. to family.. and to eternity..
I started drafting this article last February 14, 2012. I’d like to talk love as suits the occasion of Valentine’s day. I’m always mesmerized of my parents love story. So my Valentine’s day is always dedicated to my parents. Second to the fact that it also falls on my mother’s natal day.
February 14th is a scheduled date with Gnex. Sadly, he fell sick. We barely knew each other that time. However, there is an attraction and chemistry. That we can’t deny.
I tried to finish the article.. No matter how hard I tried, I wasn’t able to. Like any artist, I wasn’t inspired. I didn’t have my muse.
Life went on as usual. I was succumb to the mundane of life and busy schedule. Gladly, Gnex stayed. We started to get to know each other better. And we didn’t stop. We decided to have faith. We decided to place God in the midst.
Love as they say is as perennial as the grass. That’s according to my favorite Poem – Desiderata.
Love grows in unexpected places…
love is always a surprise….
its a treasure to be found..
it’s a gift to embrace…
~ Chic Pencil
I held on to my faith. I held on to God I know. I followed where I was leading to.
Gnex surprised me. He did surprise me a lot. It started as a friendship, getting to know each other, dates, and it grew… We followed where God is bracing us to… We never questioned, we were always grateful and appreciative.
As we walk on to the next road of our relationship, we have our hands clasps together. There will always be winds that will try to change the course. However, we have God that will calm the sea during its storm.
And finally, I can finish this article. With tears of joy in my eyes, I can publish it and share it with family and friends.
It all started with FAITH by placing God in the midst.. Relying to God’s hands and believing His will.
It’s followed with HOPE. And to never giving up.
And it ended up with LOVE…
Of faith. Of hope. and Of Love.
Love is patient love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 corinthians 13:4-7
And lastly… to the love of my life…
I love you Gnex…
A Blessed Lenten season to my fellow Catholics and Christians in faith…
Singapore has been known as the fast-moving cosmopolitan in South East Asia. High rise buildings, non-stop trains and buses, and people hurrying up to report to work in the mornings are but the usual scene.
Aside from Singapore’s reputation for being the cleanest city, the country is also famous for security where crime rates are very minimal.
It is not surprising to see Singapore in the 2nd Rank of Global Competitiveness Report from World Economic Forum. From the last year’s 3rd place, the country has overtook Sweden. Though there are a lot of criteria for the said competitiveness rankings; as a resident in Singapore, what’s visible in the naked eye is the country’s initiatives in making Singapore an attractive habitat for the best talents.
Within the buzzing city of Singapore, is the habitat for the different cluster of citizen. The said cluster are those who need understanding, those who need another hand to continue living, those who were hurt like us, and those who need forgiveness from us.
With a very hectic schedule, I was invited by Gnex to come and visit the church service in Teen Challenge Singapore. It was the very nourishment I need with all the concurrent happenings in my life.
Nothing’s more important than hearing God’s words.
So I agreed and went to visit Teen Challenge. It is located outside the central business district – in Boon Lay district.
Teen Challenge Dare Center is a drug and rehabilitation facility. The mission of the organization is to transform the lives of individuals having been addicted to substance or alcohol and restore them back to being the law-abiding citizen and continue living to Singapore society.
It was quite a distant from the city but it was worth the travel. When I reached the place, the folks (residents, staff, and management) are still playing football in the field. While waiting for Gnex, I decided to take a little tour of the area.
The said facility is a calm and quiet place which gives the individual the opportunity to reflect just about anything. Once a primary school, the facility has been transformed to cater the needs of residents who need the nourishment for the soul.
Front office and waiting area.
Residents of Teen Challenge whether walk ins and those mandatory would undergo a program designed by the organization.
I must say I’m impressed with the facility of Teen Challenge. Staff are warm and friendly. With a smile in the face, I met Mr. Dave Chai, the center director of Teen Challenge.
A snapshot of the center’s programs and activities.
Finally, the church service began. Interestingly enough, the church is located inside the center’s facility.
Prepping for the service.
I was fortunate enough to hear Reverend Jim from Teen Challenge’s headquarter who delivered the service that night.
Singing praises through the worship songs.
Worship songs in Mandarin.
The church service was insightful and reflective. It was a very good experience.
It is often that we get swayed by the mundane aspects of life. To gain a different perspectives of life we have to look at our brothers and sisters who need our understanding and support.
Like any ordinary being, the residents of Teen Challenge have undergone hurt and betrayal too. However it is not our position to judge but rather understand them by giving them second chances.
All comes from Him and all is through HIM…
For more information about Teen Challenge, please visit their website:
Sunday has always been known as the Sabbath day – a day of rest. Though different regions have different day of rest, at least one day of the week is dedicated for the soul. A day of faith and spirituality. A day dedicated for our Creator.
No matter how busy we are in our daily schedule, the Sabbath day should be observed.
Working in Singapore exposes a foreigner for variety of cultures. As we all know, Singapore comprises of three races: Chinese, Malay, and Indian. With these three races in harmony, the propensity of racial and culinary fusion is inevitable.
Each year, mostly in the earlier part, Singaporean celebrates the Chinese Lunar New Year. Each year corresponds to a Chinese animal zodiac which symbolizes the Chinese Lunar calendar culminating a 12 – year cycle. The 12-year period belongs to the 12 different animals (Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Goat, Monkey, Rooster, Dog, & Pig) . Chinese culture believes that people belonging to each animals exhibits the same pattern or set of behaviours. The animals would symbolize the compatibility and which animal would show a sign of good luck for the current year.
The Chinese lunar new year celebration would last for 15 days beginning from the start of the new year. It is during this time when the Chinese would commence the family visits, gatherings, dinners, and the like. Hong baos or red pockets given by the married Chinese are of abundance at this time of the year. Businesses will definitely celebrate the good will and the good start of the Chinese lunar new year.
Lo Hei or Prosperity Toss is prominent this time of the year.
This year is the Year of the Dragon – 2012.
For the last couple of years, I had the chance to experience the Lo Hei celebration – Malaysia and Singapore combined. It is a jolly gathering and tossing as it is said that you have to have a wish during your toss and the higher the toss, the greater the chance of making your wish possible! (Wink!). Sometimes, it is your friends who will wish for you during the Lo hei (tossing)!
During the Lo hei celebration, you will be served with Yusheng (it is also called Yee Sang). It is a very colorful raw fish salad with shredded vegetables, oils, etc. It is served in big plates with a longer chopsticks which is used during the tossing.
You will notice there are 2 chopsticks in this picture. The chopsticks in the most right of image is the longer chopsticks used in the tossing celebration.
The Mandarin oranges are present everywhere during Chinese new year. Mandarin Oranges symbolizes good fortune and abundance. In a traditional manner, the Teochew delicacies are served in this restaurant.
This is the colorful Yee Sang. When served, the celebrants would wait for everybody in the table to be present before the ceremony begins.
When the ceremony starts, other ingredients will be added to the Yee Sang. While the hostess is pouring the ingredients, she recites the ingredients and the symbol of such. Ofcourse, all languages spoken are in Mandarin…
Once the Yee Sang ceremony is finished, the prosperity tossing will begin. There can be loud noises depending on the crowd celebration – that is the Lo Hei event…
After the tossing is complete, the proper meal will be served. And this time, traditional tea will be poured unlimited.
The unlimited pouring of tea…
You will be served with the set of meal catered for the event.
All in the menu is served. Do not be worry on your diet… the food in the menu is served in a conservative amount… (wink).
When we were teens, life was simple. Parents are always there when we need them and family and friends are the usually cast of characters of our youth. We started to develop crushes and infatuations and as we grew, it all turn up to become relationships.
In relationships, young as we are, we tend to open our hearts completely. And girls would wait for that one day, someone would popped the question in a very romantic scene and with tears in the woman’s eyes, she would respond ‘Yes’…
Men will look forward to taking the girl of his dream to that union where he is willing to give up all of this freedom for the woman that he loves.
It seems to be a fairy tale, and yes it can happen… And life is all about reality… With different pressures in life, culture, and society, people changes heart. And the tears of happiness can be tears of pains.
That’s when a person starts to guard his or her feelings. Fear will start to rule the heart. The question of when a person is willing to let go again of his or herself is a matter of indefinite. Until the wounds are completely healed.
Trust can easily be given but within a matter of seconds, it can leave and erases the once good memory of friendship.
People come and people do leave. Some come back and some will never look back.
When people come into our lives, they come in different packages as they are all gifts. But when they leave, they all leave the same – that is, sadness. However, regardless of exits, we should be thankful that they came as they have given us happiness during their stay. That is their footprint.
We can control ourselves but we can’t control what’s beyond us. We commit mistakes by hiding ourselves due to fear of loss.
Some of us are lucky to be given chances but some are not and without a choice, close the door with sadness.
Here’s a promise to Dylan. Due to time constraints, this song lacked the melody.
The Sea
Life is sailing
Everybody’s searching freedom
Like a warm breeze each morning
Realizing everything’s the same
Heart is the shell guarded by dolphins
Cruel creatures of ocean
Course to iceberg
Wind is unstable
Slowly like the flow of freedom
Swayed by the winds
Embracing the waves
Destinations.. it’s the destination.
The sea is the view
Enjoying the view
Loving embracing the blues
Enjoying the view
Heart is the shell guarded by dolphins
Cruel creatures of ocean
Course to iceberg
Wind is unstable
Slowly like the flow of freedom
Swayed by the winds
Embracing the waves
Destinations.. it’s the destination.
We met in the virtual world where the rule is to be casual. Millions of people used the online world for lots of reason including the compartmentalization of everyday manusia of living.
People hide their feelings and their real self and online is the safest way to do it.
But you’re different. And things happened for reasons.
We’re both overcoming the hurt and betrayal of the past relationships we had. We shared the feelings of being hurt and the pains we’ve undergone. We both wonder why sadness and pains exist?
This is reality. And oftentimes it bites.
We both believe we are part of the majestic plan. And tomorrow will always be unknown. But for now, we enjoy ourselves with the company and the thought that someone is there, a friend, that is always there for us is a precious gift.
We’re hurting but we both know we will recover like most of the people who have undergone the feeling of separation.
Time heals all wounds.
Tomorrow will always be different. And this too, shall pass.
We’ve all been there before… That unforgettable moment and discussion which usually starts with the magic word…
Baby, I think we need to talk…
And that’s when you get to be stunned… palpitations follow… and then the trembling of the knees…
Regardless of whether you’re at work or just plain sleeping.. you can predict what’s to come when the magic words are popped out from Pandora’s box.
That scene is familiar?
Of course it is… its when we got dumped and there’s no way to undo the scene (though time travels if it is even real would be really helpful to alleviate the excruciating pain).
Why does a relationship breaks?
You keep on reminiscing the past and your shortcomings. You wished that the last argument that you had you didn’t say anything to hurt the other party’s ego. And then you start to beg to reconsider of getting another chance with the relationship.
When the other party says no.. You realized how valueless you are… The reality of being alone will start to sink in… That’s when you start to:
1. You start to become a Whatsapp terrorist by sending thousands of messages to your ex.
2. Some would start the drunk dialing (Man, this can be pathetic move but it does happen).
3. Some would do the drunk home visits (This is more pathetic than Item 2 but this can be reality).
4. Some would pose some threat such as suicide, suicide attempts, self inflict cuts, etc.
5. Some will stay in the hospital for few days due to heart failure. Some people can’t handle emotional tensions which can lead to a farewell in life.
Now this is the time when family and friends will come to rescue you in order to overcome the breakup. But no matter how you wallow, there is always the ponder and going back to the old memory lane.
Why did break up happen in the first place?
Surely somewhere, somehow, things have deviated from its happy beginning. Expectations haven’t met. Priorities clash. Until the world collides. Everything is just numb.
Well, realizing it, break up never happened over night. There’s that deep reason behind the cover up arguments. Most of the time, the reason that were given during the break up moment is the sugar coated explanations to make the break up… well valid…
If you got dumped… Well sad to say, you were the one who lost yourself in the relationship. You invested so much in the relationship that you lost your identity and self worth. You deviated from the inner you. It sounded not fair but I guess the reality is that it is true.
You shed tears and red wine became your ally. Consider yourself lucky when your best friend is there for you and listen to your crying and whining for hours! Because the reality is, the other party will never come back.
Looking on the bright side, break ups is the opportunity for you to rethink. What could you have done in the process? Why did the sweaty palms and the sudden heart sink just died in the process?
Once you figure out your short comings and the mistakes that you did that’s when you learned your lessons. That’s the beauty of break ups. It is painful but it is the learning process that’s worthwhile.
Because the thing is, when the tears run dry. You’re ready to smile. You learned your lessons. And now you’re willing to embrace again. And that’s when a worth while person will come along. (wink).
As a continuation of crisis management, here’s the second unforgettable experience living and working as an expat in a foreign land.
Disclaimer:
The aim of sharing the stories below is to portray the importance of crisis management and is not insinuating racial and country discrimination. Thank you.
Political Unrest
From the country where I am from, politics and revolutions are nothing new. We’re famous for People Power, a revolution to outcast and revamp the government leaders. We had few of coup d’etat, some successful and some failed. If you’re a citizen of the country undergoing political chaos, life moves on the usual phase. However, if you’re a foreigner, political unrest will trigger your fear.
Thailand was already in political chaos since early 2008.
However, it is still business as usual. Product and technology updates to partners are critical in order to ensure proper positioning and sell.
It was the last week of August 2008, few weeks prior my relocation to Singapore when I was sent to conduct a technology workshop to our business partner in Bangkok Thailand.
When I reached Bangkok, everything appears normal. Reaching the Plaza Athenee Bangkok, the hotel was calm and serene. It’s loaded with business travelers, so I thought there’s nothing to be worry about. Business continues and I prepared for the workshop, hopefully there will be opportunities that will come along.
While conducting the workshop, the partner’s office is equipped with television which telecast the news updates about Bangkok and the political challenges it is facing due to the conflicts of People’s Alliance for Democracy (PAD) and People’s Power Party (PPP). The said political chaos started since 2005-2006 and continued again on 2008.
I was occupied with the workshop topics and preparations that I missed out watching the evening news. I missed out the news that Thailand is already foreseen to undergo the state of emergency.
In the middle of my workshop, I received a call from my colleague:
Colleague: Where are you?
Me: I’m still in Bangkok, middle of the workshop. Why? Do we need to discuss opportunities?
Colleague: No. Haven’t you watched the news this morning? Thailand government has already issued that Bangkok is going to be under the state of emergency. Get out of the Thailand. NOW. BE SAFE.
Me: What am I gonna do?
Colleague: Get a flight and leave now. You don’t want to get stuck in Bangkok. Protesters will disrupt the air travels and the international airport.
After receiving the news, I immediately requested for a break session from the workshop that I’m conducting and immediately watched the news telecast. After confirming my colleague’s news, I immediately sent a message to my bosses that I will need to fly back to Kuala Lumpur. I seek the assistance of the business partner for me to go back to the hotel immediately. The workshop was discontinued immediately.
Me to the receptionist: I need you to book me a flight this afternoon or evening for Kuala Lumpur.
I gave her the details of my flight for rebooking.
Receptionist: Malaysia Airlines has already cancelled its flight to Bangkok and vice versa. I will need to liaised with Thai Airways for your flight rebooking.
Me: Thank you very much. Here’s the address of Plaza Athenee, can you write the address in Thai? (On my mind: This is for me not to say anything to taxi driver and just hand over the address. I’m avoiding to be noticed as foreigner.)
I received a call from my managing director while in the middle of explanation to my workshop attendees that I need to leave immediately.
Managing Director: Get a flight immediately and leave the country. Get a hotel limo and be safe.
After reaching the hotel, it was very ironic that the hotel is like a cemetery. It was very quiet and all hotel guests have left the vicinity. The area of Plaza Athenee is known to be the place of residences for most of the expats living and working in Bangkok. During that time, as I alighted from the taxi on my way inside the hotel, Thai military men have surrounded the area and protecting it against potential danger.
The hotel immediately prepared a hotel limo that will take me privately and safely to the airport.
After few minutes of packing and checking out, I was on my way to the international airport. The hotel limo took the side streets to avoid the protesters until we reached the highway. Still I can see the people in the street gathering their packs. My mind was empty and all I can think of is to get my flight and leave.
The last thing that I can think of is the fear that I will get stranded in the country if international flights are discontinued due to protesters.
Bangkok International airport was packed with travelers hoping to get a flight and leave. Most of the international flights were already cancelled. Thai Airways accommodated the passengers. I managed to get a flight that night thru Thai Airways.
Thankfully, I reached Kuala Lumpur safe and sound.
The following morning, I was watching the news from Kuala Lumpur. The news announced that Thailand international airport has to disrupt services due to political unstability. Few days later, Bangkok was announced to be under the state of emergency.
Working life continues and my travels were redirected to Indonesia for few opportunities.
While talking to my colleague,
Colleague: Well, if you get stranded in Thailand, you can always seek help from Malaysia embassy.
Me: (Laugh). You must have forgotten that I should be seeking help from Philippine embassy.
All of us were laughing.
After the incident, I learned that life can’t be controlled and crisis can appear out of nowhere without warning though signs are present and it’s up to us to acknowledge it. It is then I developed the habit that every time I travel whether it is business or holidays, I always remind the people that I love, cared, and treasured how much I love them. With constant flying, you will never know what can happen and when you will see them again.
life's but a journey 